top of page

Self-Love – Let Your Heart Help You With That

Updated: Sep 27, 2020

It would be easy to fill this blog post with other people’s quotes about loving yourself…there are hundreds of them. Wonderful, uplifting, insightful and wise words abound on the subject. It is a way of relating to ourselves that is increasingly being explored, discussed and taught. Books about it are burgeoning on Amazon. Its message is on mug coasters, T-shirts and everywhere on social media.

And there is a good reason for this…as many of us are waking up to the value and importance of loving ourselves. We recognise that it is a vital element of a fulfilling, successful life where we have a healthy, happy relationship with ourselves, those close to us and the world generally.

So…we understand how important it is…then what…?

For many of us there is the question, ‘’Well how do I actually do it?’’

We understand the theory and are touched by the self-love quotes – but how do we make it a real and tangible part of our lives?

Many people might read an inspiring quote such as the ones above…smile for a moment, nod in agreement…then go back to their usual mode of critical self-judgements.

Why does this happen? It is because we attempt to love ourselves through our minds. Our mind gets the point about self-love. It understands the benefits and sets about trying to do it. But the mind isn’t really designed for the job.

Our minds are beautiful pieces of machinery that are built to compute, assess data, compare and contrast, then make decisions based on judgments. To the analytical mind, self-love is a commodity or a tool to be applied. It will try and do it, tick the box, job done…but nothing really shifts. The promise of self-love is not genuinely experienced. Disappointment sets in…and maybe we give up trying to love ourselves altogether.

With all that said, our minds are an important part of the process that can support us in self-love. It can make a positive decision about it – but it can’t actually