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I sometimes feel like we have been given a secret key to the whole business of being a human…and especially how to be a happy, thriving human. Without this secret key life can be a struggle. And when we don’t know where to find the key we can often slide into one of the two typical approaches to coping with this struggle…
We can become driven, or brittle, hard on ourselves, judging ourselves for not being good enough. We can become critical of life – for being so hard. Then we hunker down and try push through.
We give up, fade away, hide, collapse or generally feel life is hopeless.
I have done both of these and so have many of my clients. Some people lean more towards one or the other. What about you? I used to be a ‘fade away’ or ‘collapse’ kind of person. Then to try and pull myself out of that heavy place, I shifted into being more driven and pushing myself. Both approaches to coping with the challenges of life made me ill.
From there my life started to change. Gradually and steadily I became more confident, more relaxed and resilient, with a sense of my capabilities and potential waiting coming out of the shadows. I became happier, I trusted myself…with a deeper sense that I knew who I was, what I wanted to do with my life in the courage to do it.
This secret key doesn’t mean that genuine tragedy won’t happen. On our daily news, we are faced with tragedy and grief constantly. We all know someone who has experienced personal trauma and most of us have experienced it directly. So using this secret key does not make us immune to tragedy, trauma and crisis. It means that when we do face it we are better equipped to ride it like a tidal wave rather than be dashed on the rocks.
I mention this because calling something a ‘secret key’ can sound a bit as if with one wave of a magic wand all our challenges disappear. No, we still have challenges…but with this key, we are able to remember that we are actually ‘more’ than any challenge we face, we are stronger and more capable.
Sometimes when our challenges are huge…it requires us to dig deeper than ever before into the depths of ourselves where we find resources, wisdom, insight or courage that we might never have imagined being there…right inside us.
Our heart is the guide that takes us on the inner journey to that place where we can face challenges with ease. It is the loving supporter that helps us pull out of ourselves the strength, courage, compassion, forgiveness, determination…or whatever quality it is that we need to live our lives to the full.
And our heart is so very good at doing this. It seems to be made for the job. But many of us don’t use it. Many of us probably don’t even know about this source of inner power. This ‘secret key’. I know that was the case for me years ago.
So are you feeling stuck between the rock and a hard place of struggle where you either collapse and feel hopeless or grit your teeth and fight your way through the day? Have you had enough of that? There is a different way…you have it ready and waiting inside you now.
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